Let's start at the beginning, or at least the beginning of this story. At the end of November 2011, the most amazing and wonderful man asked me to marry him. To cut down on the suspense, I said yes. This started the two of us on a journey that every couple has to go through when they plan a wedding. For those of you who have been through the process or are going through the process, you know that planning a wedding isn't as easy as you think its going to be. And to add to the fun pressure, my fiance is Christian and I'm Jewish; my mother lives in town, and his is halfway across the country.
So far, the religious issues haven't been a big deal. Neither of us are particularly big into religion, we don't go to either temple or church, and we don't really subscribe to many of the religious tenants that would make this wedding difficult. We agreed on our officiant early, my rabbi (mostly because I have a long relationship with said rabbi and my fiance doesn't have a minister or priest that he is close with), so far we've agreed on all the little details that go along with religion, like the fact that we're standing under a chuppah and we're discussing having a ketubah. We've agreed that stepping on a glass is kind of fun, so we're keeping with that tradition as well, but we're skipping pretty much everything else from the Jewish ceremony. I keep waiting for him to jump up and down (not that he every really gets that overly excited, that's a me thing) and demand we do something at least vaguely Christian. He hasn't.
No, the religious issues have thus far (knock on wood) been pretty non-existent. Our real issue is the fact that we both have mothers who want to be in charge of everything, they want to have their fingers in every pot, and they'll voice their opinions indiscriminately. And, according to my mother, everything I choose is wrong.
So, planning has been a series of games of tug of war, which are slowly coming together into a less fierce battle, mostly because I think my mother and I are both worn out, and the wedding is shaping up into something I might be pretty happy with. But that's not the point of this blog at all.
The point, which I probably should have started with, is to document the insane hoops that you have to go through to plan a wedding. While this is made much easier now, with sites like The Knot and The Wedding Channel, plus apps for your phone which provide helpful checklists and help plan seating charts; they do not make appointments for you, tell you which vendors work well together, or explain that what you think might be really cool, will be a disaster and also look really funny. Nope, for that you have your bridesmaids and your mother. Who, just in case you're wondering, usually don't agree (on anything).
With all that being said, I have made some headway on the wedding. We've chosen our officiant, which was the easiest check in the box. I have my dress and vail, which went much more smoothly then I thought it would, since my mother previously didn't know about several of my tattoos, which were proudly on display when trying on dresses. And, fianlly, we have our wedding site (both ceremony and reception) which was a huge chore, took fully three months, and I still don't think my mother is completely on board, and will never really be happy about my choice. Now on to the next steps, which seem to include flowers (I am not a fan, and I would really like to go very minimal, somehow I don't think that's going to happen), the food (I'm letting my mother fly with this for the most part, since the chef we're using went to New England Cullinary Institute I trust him to make whatever she wants taste fantastic), dinnerware (I'm not even dignifying this one, the place we're using has very nice dinnerware, and I think my mother is crazy), and the guest list.
